Planning space
My story is called building cool parks
Building Tautoro School better then ever
I will build new parks at tautoro school because the parks are very very old. So we can have fun and put big slides on the park and make the junior park bigger and better and put some tunnels in the parks and then they will be happy. And put some cameras around the school the school and ho ever bes a bully they will catch them on the camera and the will have to do lines. For the rest of the day and the person that was being a bully they will have to say sorry. And they will just carry on and make tautoro like a big hydroside for the senior park.
A pool to cool down the kids and there is a shello piece and a deep piece so that the people that dont no how to swim. They can go to the shello piece. Who's with me yes or no. Yes.
Then we will make a long dirt bike trail around the whole field and the whole school and make a skate bowl on the court for tim and all the people that like skate boarding. Then bust all the classrooms down and build new classrooms. Because the same classroom are still here from ages ago.
That will be cool if the teachers done all of that. Thank for all of you’s that said yes. The End.
Hi Sweyde, you have given heaps of ways you can make Tautoro School better than ever. During testing you spent a great amount of time writing a recount when we were sitting a persuasive writing assessment. When you realised this you had to rush to do this one. I wonder how you would have done if you were not rushing.
ReplyDeleteIn this writing you have shown you are not confident organising and using the correct structure and language features of persuasive writing. Did you proof-read? There are many errors in your sentences and with punctuation. Kia kaha! You must focus on what it is you are being taught, if you are unsure, tell me. I look forward to seeing more success next term in explanation writing.